Be a Lady
by LaraJanine
Summary: Dark!Japan wants Philippines to be a lady but she refuses to act like one. Enough said! Read the Story.


_**A/N: Hahaha! Another thought occured on my friend and I about a movie entitled as Mulan. We think it was hilarious! In fact, I had a dream of it after two days and a cockroach almost made its way into my mouth while I was laughing at my sleep. Good thing my aunt was awake and she slapped my face with her flip-flops in order to crush that cockroach but failed miserably. It, actually, hurts! Disclaimer applied: Hetalia doesn't belong to me!**_

_**No accents applied**_

* * *

"Why won't you act like a lady, Piri-san? You act like a boy, talk like a boy, and for goodness sake, you dress like a boy!" Dark!Japan grunted as he looked at Philippines from head to toe.

"I do what I want! Deal with it!" Philippines replied as she put her hands in her pockets and began to walk away.

"Piri-san!" Dark!Japan shouted angrily at her. Philippines, however, stopped on her tracks and faced him.

"Just because you have a boyish name, it doesn't mean you're a boy! Even if Spain mistook you as a boy, it doesn't change the fact that you're a lady. You had to start acting like one and I expect you to act like one!" Dark!Japan went towards her and instantly took her sword and navy cap.

"Now, whether you like it or not" he tossed her a book "you will learn how to be a lady!"

"Oh, c'mon! Its not like I am a lesbian, Japan! I'm just boyish in personality. Know the difference, you -" Philippines was about to say something offensive but Dark!Japan held a finger against her lips.

"A lady doesn't complain and does what she's told." he told her as he left her alone.

"A lady doesn't complain and blah-blah-blah! Tell that to my ass!" Philippines whispering-ly mocked Dark!Japan.

"I HEARD THAT!" Dark!Japan yelled.

* * *

~Timeskip 101~

Dark!Japan wants to drink wine for the moment with all the tension Philippines is giving him. She just had to be is his only student and with the large space of the room and with all those chairs available, she chose the farthest one from him. So, he has to shout so that she can hear what he is saying. It just had to be as loud as a stadium, huh?

"Okay, I guess you -" Dark!Japan noticed that Philippines isn't even paying attention to what he is saying "Maria Clara dela Cuz!" he shouted.

"B****, please! you don't need to shout!" Philippines muttered at him.

"Excuse me" Dark!Japan stopped himself from using one of Romano's 'deadly' language "Get in here so I can keep a better eye on you!" Japan pointed at a seat nearer but Philippines ignored him.

'Do I always have to do this?' Dark!Japan thought to himself. Philippines has never been even more stubborn. He grabbed Philippines left arm and made her sit in the chair.

"So, now! I guess you have memorized the entire book so I am giving you a test!" Dark!Japan announced with a smirk plastered in his face.

"Big deal! What happens if I fail the test?" Philippines asked.

"Oh, that! I'll just burn your clothes and replace them with dresses. I will throw your rubber shoes away and make you wear heels, instead Not to mention, I'll paint your room in pink and purple!" he replied.

"NOOOO!" Philippines' darkest nightmares have come true!

* * *

Philippines went towards Dark!Japan and began to hit him with her fists.

"Why are you doing this to me? I will NEVEREVEREVEREVEREVER become a lady!" Dark!Japan grabbed both of her wrists to stop her from hitting him.

"Never say never! You'll become a lady whether you like it or not; a lady filled with poise and dignity" Japan made a 'sense of dignity' sign on his face.

"Pfft! I see about that!" Philippines replied, holding on to her stomach and stifling her laughter.

"What?" Japan asked her.

"Oh, nothing! I just like your newly grown mustache and beard! Looking good, handsome!" Philippines teased him. Dark!Japan, however, remained clueless.

"But, I just shaved this morning!" he protested.

Philippines rolled her eyes at him and pulled out a mirror from her pocket and gave it to him.

"What the f***!" Dark!Japan shouted at the top of his lungs. Since when has it been there?

* * *

Dark!Japan wiped off the mustache and beard from his face with a wet towel. Good thing, it is not permanent ink that 2P!Japan used for his tattoos.

"Hahaha! Nice 'Sense of Dignity' face, Yori!" Philippines continued mocking him.

Japan rolled his eyes at her and noticed his right palm: it has ink! But, where did the ink come from, anyway? Then, it dawned on him: Philippines must have a cheat list!

'You are busted, Philippines! I am so going to make you join that *_Flores de Mayo_!' Japan thought to himself.

* * *

"All right Philippines, where is it?" Dark!Japan tapped his shoes against the floor lightly.

"Where is what?" Philippines asked, innocently.

"Your cheat list!" Dark!Japan replied. Philippines flinched and didn't spoke a word.

""All right! Fine! Dark!Japan checked her left arm and found a note in it.

_'Japan, whatever you're thinking, I am NOT cheating! And the cheatlist is NOT on my right arm!'_ Japan took her other arm and read another note.

_'Told you so! PS: Don't look at my left leg 'cuz my cheatlist is, definitely, NOT there!'_ Japan hesitated for a moment until he made a decision.

* * *

He began lifting her long skirt until Philippines kicked him in the leg.

"What the hell, man! Show some respect to a woman, will you?" Philippines angrily crossed her arms at him.

"I'm just going to look if the cheat list is there!" Japan, without wasting a second, lifted Philippines skirt.

"Gyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Philippines sang soprano for five seconds.

'I told you it wasn't at my leg you pervert! And in case you're wondering, I don't have scrolls hidden in me!'

* * *

"Philippines, hand over the scrolls! My patience are wearing thin already!" Dark!Japan told her and began releasing dark auras.

"All of it?" she asked.

"All of it!" Dark!Japan replied.

Philippines began taking out every scroll in her body. One is at her back, two in her arms, another one at her chest and many more. There is, at least, a dozen of them. One thing about the scrolls, it has numbers on them.

"Oh, great! Philippines, when I'm through, you are going to learn ballet!" Dark!Japan fumed as he looked at each and every scroll.

* * *

Japan picked up the last scroll and hoped that it was her real cheat list. He is kinda tired with all the wild-goose-chase he has. He opened it only to find another note.

'YOU'VE JUST BEEN TROLLED! XD Hehe! Thank you for giving me enough time to review, by the way!'

Dark!Japan looked at Philippines who is reading the 'Lady' Book.

'Man, why didn't I see that coming!'

* * *

"Now, with all the trouble you gave me, I think you have memorized the book, by now!" he said.

"Ha! B****, please. I'm a pro!" Philippines replied happily.

"Oh, really! Impress me!" Dark!Japan told her, raing his left eyebrow a little.

"Ahem! So, here goes:

(she pulls out a microphone from god-knows-where)

It's frightfully terribly hard to be a lady  
There's so many Ps and Qs you have to mind  
But the rewards I guarantee are rich and varied  
And worth all of the effort, you will find  
Your posture must be perfect  
And your diction crisp and clear  
Your speaking voice mellifluous and pleasing to the ear  
Your legs are crossed when seated  
Your toes are pointed so  
Your pinkies raised while drinking  
But that's not all you need to know

(Philippines grabs a guitar out of nowhere and began to play hard rock music)

You mustn't curse or spit or tattle, never gossip  
A lady never scratches, sweats, or burps  
She knows which knife and fork and spoon to use and when  
And if soup is served it's impolite to slurp

It's always "please and thank you, sir or madam"  
Never brash or loud or putting on a show  
A lady is demure, reserved and proper  
And that is really all you need to know"

* * *

Dark!Japan stared at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"You mean, you have made me -" Dark!Japan didn't continue because Philippines held a finger at his mouth.

"Yes, I did! So, that means, I passed the test! Haha!" Philippines has never been more happier in her life.

* * *

**_Okay, FLORES DE MAYO is a parade where you have to wear a dress, hold a bouquet of flowers and be all girly. Its like a beauty pageant, to be exact!  
Also, the song is from Phineas and Ferb's 'How To be a Lady'._**


End file.
